happy leap day

on this festive of holidays, i was going to try to find lots of fun facts about leap years and leap days to share with you - but alas, leap day is not much more interesting than the facts you learned in 3rd grade. we get it every four years because a year is actually 356.245 days - and since it's not exactly 365.25 days, every 400 years skips the leap day.

it's also folklore that women can only propose marriage in leap years (as initiated by st. patrick). and some queen back in the day created legal fines for men who did not accept the proposals. and then the greeks believe that it is bad luck to marry in a leap year...good thing i'm irish/german.

so, the very fun part of this leap day is that my sister-in-law is in labor and might have her very own leapling! i'm hoping this baby comes before midnight tonight.

i also read that if you have an annual salary, you aren't actually paid for leap day...i'm not sure if that's true or not, but either way, i'm going to slack off a bit extra today at work just in case. i'm not working if they aren't paying.

hope you are having a happy leap day - if you live in stl, it looks like a spring-ish weekend is in store so enjoy it.

get up to speed stl

the world of tv is going digital, and my hometown is ill-prepared. apparently 19% of homes in st. louis are incapable of receiving digital signals, as compared to 10.9% across the us. are we seriously that backwoods here? don't worry, we're not dead last...just close to it.

this transition to digital, along with the introduction of hd, is the first time in my life that i've truly felt behind the times in technology. i find all of the tv lingo and specifications very confusing, and i'm not very interesting in learning them either. i now know what my grandparents felt like when people told them they had to have a computer at home. if i feel this way at 25, it's going to be a long road for me to figure out what the hell i'm doing.

in other news, the final 24 have been chosen for ai. man, is it going to be a great year. i have 14 weeks of singing and voting to look forward to. if that's not good news, i don't know what is.

a few things that i think you should know about

i have had the privilege of being exposed to a few new fun things this week - that I'd like to share with you. you can choose to like them or not, and i will continue to like them myself.

1. pandora.com

if you listen to music, and like music and hope to keep finding music to like that isn't the same 5 songs you have liked since you were 18 (this was kind of me before finding pandora) - you HAVE to get on pandora. basically you can enter in any song or singer that you like, and it will identify a never-ending playlist that resembles it. the "music genome project" basically assigns a DNA code to just about any song, and will find songs like it for you to listen. the best part? it's free.

2. gladys hardy

this was going to be a lot cooler - but i can't embed youtube today...perhaps i shouldn't be doing this from work. anyways - it's funny, so watch it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuT0Zf3kJX0

that's all for today, have to do some actual work now. i'll be preparing for my marriage, babysitting and doing laundry all weekend. man am i boring.

oh geez...

so my good friend kirby informed me that i'm a blog-slacker, and that i have ended a record-breaking monthly blogging streak for 15 months with my recent state of hiatus. what a shame...i was hoping to win some kind of record for this. damn.

well anyways - my life since last post has been filled with lots of business and craziness: working like a fool, planning my wedding, and watching american idol. all the important things in life.

speaking of american idol, i think the novelty of the "bad karoake on tv" has finally worn off. fox is trying to hang on, but they've even shifted the shows since the beginning of this season. they are showing more good people, less cheesy back stories...and i like it. actually, i'd be fine if they started the whole season with hollywood.

in other news - there's a presidential race going on. did you hear? well, if you haven't, i'll give you a quick recap. for the dems, black man v. white woman: the showdown. for the gop, old v. mormon: gauntlet. i think mccain is a standup guy - but MAN is he old. if he were to take office, he would be our oldest pres at 72. maybe he should just retire and play bocce instead.

and speaking of old presidents...i wondered if mccain would actually be the oldest president, and it's true (according to wikipedia at least). so i wondered, who is the oldest president now? that would be reagan. and the youngest? you're thinking jfk, right? WRONG. crazy, i know...but look it up. i'm not telling you - you'll have to do the research yourself. keep your mind active, you know.

so friends - this has been a quite terrible blog, but i have to call a few printers about wedding invitations, so i'm signing off. enjoy your mardi gras/superbowl weekend...if you were hit by the snowstorm of the century, make a snow angel. actually, build an igloo and watch the superbowl in it. that would be awesome.

see you next week.

ps. it's theodore roosevelt. i felt bad not telling you.

a look back on '07

here's a taste of what happened in my life and around the world this year, whether you care or not ;)

1. year o' moving: i moved out of my apartment and into the basement of my fine (and generous) friend karen...only to move out 6 months later and back in with my parents.

2. travelling wo-man: i spent much of my spring and early summer on planes, in cars, in hotel rooms, and staying with friends. a zeta reunion in oxford; trip to boston to see amy, the red sox, and a whole bunch of people who work for catalogs; virginia for some focus groups; indy for some boozing with my bestest friends...i always thought i would like to travel all the time, but now i'm not so sure...

3. VT: the event that shocked and dismayed the country, with a cold and tragic flashback to school shootings of the past.

4. ball and chain: on june 21, i got engaged to my future-hubby, 'hubby'. by this time next year, i'll be mrs. husband. then i'll be able to say, "this is my husband, matt husband" (my mom gets a real kick out of that)

5. weddingpalooza: attended some, participated in a few, and started planning my own. the statment "everyone is getting married" became the catchphrase of the year.

6. baby kate: shannon and abe had their first baby, a girl! she's freaking adorable and we love her. kathleen elizabeth.

7. kid #2: toph and sharon announced their pregnancy with their second child, in the same month that baby kate was born and i got engaged. we like to keep things interesting around here. then, at christmas, they told us it's a boy. yay!

8. home on the range: matt and i (mostly just matt...) bought a house! new to home-owning, this was a real experience that i'm not interested in participating in again soon. the house is awesome, and i can't wait to move in.

9. 90 years: my aunt ruthie turned 90. she lives in florida and travelled up to stl for a big party. i could only hope to be in her health at 90 -- she delivers meals on wheels to the "old people", as she calls them.

10. strike out: writers go on strike across the country. say goodbye to television shows that have scripts, and hello to a million reality series. luckily, american idol doesn't require the talent of writers to continue on.

happy 08 to all - hope it's a good one. see you next year.

follow up to the holiday party...

just wanted to let everyone know - the holiday party WAS as miserable as expected. people lined up to eat dollar roll sandwiches and brownies, we drank pepsi out of styrofoam cups...we even played musical chairs. well, i didn't play - but a representative of every part of the company played. the director of IT won, but the CEO came in a close second. no prizes for winners, just glory.

so after leaving work 45 minutes late, i ventured to my mom and dads in west county, only to realize that west county drivers are by far the worst drivers in the midwest. i hope they all quit their jobs when hwy 40 shuts down, so that i never have to deal with them again.

happy 6 days till christmas...

holiday par-tay

nothing says christmas/hanukkah/kwanzaa/atheist holiday of choice like the notorious company holiday party. my previous job - they certainly knew how to throw a party. in my first year, we had an all-inclusive 8-midnight party at a local restaurant/bar. employees were hammered, drinks were spilled, bosses were dancing on tables - it was spectacular.

so the next year, i think they realized that was a bit over the top, and out of budget, so we had an afternoon bowling party. the whole company left work at noon and hit the lanes. beers, buffet style food, bowling tournament, stale stench of cigarettes - what more could you ask for? it was a great time. (also, it was my last day of work at that company, so it was superb)

well, now that i'm with my new company for the first holiday party experience, i had high hopes of something super cool - like karaoke at chili's. i was greatly disappointed the day i received this email:

Hi!
You are invited to our Holiday Party! We will have
appetizers, desserts, soda and water.
We will also have a raffle to give away 3 Gift Baskets!
When: Tuesday, 12/18/07
Where: 2nd Floor of our building, in the open area outside of the
administration offices
Time: 4pm-6pm
*You do not need to RSVP
**You will be given your raffle tickets at the party
Thanks and hope to see you there!

so not only does this holiday party not involve drinks, it happens from 4pm - 6pm, when our business closes 5pm. Merry Christmas! Feel free to stay at work an hour late!

and to make it worse, the location ("the open area outside of the admin offices") is actually the open area right f-ing next to my desk. i couldn't even skip it if i wanted to. sons of bitches.

so in about an hour and a half, i'll be enjoying a tasty dessert accompanied by a bottle of water, all on the company's dime. grrrrrreat.

and if your holiday party doesn't suck as much as mine, i don't want to hear about it.

i hate the dentist and why i'm buying all xmas presents online

so today, i had to go to the dentist for a filling. my first filling since i was about 10, i was actually quite nervous. they assured me it was no problem and that i could return to work after the hour-long appointment. this was true - i did return to work, but they failed to mention to me that when i returned to work i would be talking like a goober that got punched in the mouth. not only that, the dentist went a little crazy with the lidocaine shot and i swallowed a mouthful. if you ever wondered, that WILL make you throw up.

so needless to say, this hasn't been the most fun monday. but the weekend on the other hand was a good time - i moved out of my basement dwelling on pembroke (tear) and in with my parents. this is the 5th time i've moved in three years - only to be moving again in june 08 after i am an old married woman.

and the decision to move home with my parents? it has it's ups and downs. the down is that they live in west b.f. about 30 minutes from everything. the up is that i will have homecooked dinner and packed lunches for the next 6 months. or if anyone is interested in a bonfire party, i've got the hookup.

so the other interesting event that happened this weekend occurred at the galleria, aka hell in december. i should know better than to step foot in a mall at this time of year, but i couldn't help myself, as i needed to use a discount card to victorias secret that i received in the mail before it expired (and i needed new underpants as well).

so i walk into vs, and am first off shocked by all of the very young girls in there picking out some extremely scandalous undergarments. some of these girls looked 12 - sick.

i pick out my 5 for $25 underwears, and one extra for the "free pair" that my card offers. i get in line to pay, and the cashier informs me that the "free pair" that i have picked out has to be a certain kind, which i did not know. there are people in line behind me, but i rush over to pick out a pair that will be free while they wait (i'm that girl).

as i rush back to the line with a pair of green and white polka dotted granny underpants, i realize that the people directly behind me in line are my co-workers (a guy and a girl - who before this i did not realize that they even knew each other). i casually say hello, as though a) they did not just have to wait for me to pick out underwear b) didn't just see the granny panties i picked out and c) aren't half as uncomfortable as i am at this moment.

i feel my face getting red, the cashier tells me how much my total is - then i can't find my credit card. the girl co-worker is telling me some story about her stepmom and i am not paying attention at all, like the flake that i have turned into, trying to find the stupid credit card. i manage to find it, pay, sign the receipt and pretend like i have something really important to go to and can't stay and chat.

i haven't been that embarrassed since i threw up on myself at six flags when i was 12. i rode mo-mo the monster three times in a row - what do you expect?

you's a ho

so, in australia (that crazy country), they are asking santa's not to say "ho ho ho" this christmas in sydney because some women will find it offensive. no, i'm not kidding. really. i swear. it's even on fox news!

Australian Santas Asked Not to 'Ho Ho Ho'
Thursday , November 15, 2007

By Janet Fyfe-Yeomans and Amanda Grant

SYDNEY, Australia —

He is an unlikely revolutionary, but this Christmas, Santa is a rebel with a claus.

He is having the last laugh on political correctness — and it's a great big fat belly laugh.

Santas across Sydney, Australia, are rebelling against attempts to ban their traditional greeting of "ho, ho, ho" in favor of "ha, ha, ha."

Recruitment firm Westaff — which supplies hundreds of Santas across the country — has told its trainees that the "ho ho ho" phrase could frighten children and could even be derogatory to women.

Two Santa hopefuls reportedly quit the course because of the hullabaloo of the ho, ho, ho.

One would-be Santa has told The Daily Telegraph he was taught not to use "ho, ho, ho" because it was too close to the American slang for prostitute. He also quit.

"Gimme a break," said Julie Gale, who runs a campaign against sexualizing children called Kids Free 2B Kids. "We are talking about little kids who do not understand that 'ho, ho, ho' has any other connotation, and nor should they."

"Leave Santa alone," she added.

-----

you know, i think it's about time this creepy old perv "santa" was reprimanded for his behavior. watching children while they play, keeping lists of their names, labelling them "naughty" - even luring them with treats and gifts. i mean, everyone learns as a kid - this kind of perpetrator is dangerous. he's a stranger with candy and has his eye on the youngins'. and to top it off, he's been getting away with yelling profanity at these innocent babies! calling them ho's and obviously degrading their self-esteem from a very young age.

i personally am glad that this came about, because we've all been living blind of the fact that santa is nothing more than a morally corrupt old man, running a factory with vertically challenged people as his employees. the horror! hasn't santa watched "little people big world"? these people can lead perfectly normal lives, and don't have to be subjected to this non-stop toymaking labor.

so hear this santa, you think you can get away with your jollitry and games, but we're on to you. by next year, your holiday will be nothing more than a day off work with a plastic "family" tree in the living room. we will not allow your attempts to bring light to our bleak winter season. and watch out david - we're after your star next.

how old is creepy?

the other day, i visited my local st. louis bread company to enjoy a bowl of chicken and wild rice soup with a co-worker. we waited in the usual line to place our orders, and when i reached the front of the line, i noticed the employee there to take my order was an elderly friendly-looking gentleman, who appeared to be having a great time taking people's orders.

old guy: well hello there young lady? how are you doing today? what can i get you?
me: i'll take the you-pick-two with chicken and wild rice soup and a tuscan chicken sandwich.
old guy: ok, great choices. i love the chicken and wild rice soup - it's delicious!
me: (thinking) i know that dummy, that's why i ordered it.
old guy: now would you like to buy a cookie with your meal for just 99 cents? it's our special right now.
me: no thank you.
old guy: oh come on - get a cookie - they are delicious! with your lovely figure, you can have a cookie with your lunch.
me: (thinking) did i hear that right?
me: (out loud) uh...thanks?
old guy: my friend is a fitness instructor, and she eats our cookies! but i get them for her with my employee discount.
me: i'll pass on the cookie, but i'd like a drink with my meal.
old guy: ok great! how would you like to pay?
(note: i have been holding my credit card in front of him for 3 minutes at this point)
old guy: on the magic credit card, great. your name is erin? a beautiful irish name for a beautiful girl. i'm irish, you know. john o'finnigan. i'm travelling to ireland next spring.
me: that's great, though i'm actually german.
old guy: well, ok. the germans and the irish get along now-a-days anyways! enjoy your lunch and watch that lovely figure!

i ran away from the counter as quickly as i could, so that he wouldn't come up with something else to talk to me about...and got to the table where my co-worker was sitting, already eating his food. i told him what the old guy said and why it took so long, and he brought up an interesting point. if this guy were 30, i would have thought he was a total creep - but somehow at 70, a guy can totally get away with it.

so at what age does a guy stop being a creepy perv? i'm thinking somewhere around 64...possibly 60, but that might be pushing it.

that's all i've got for today. that and a 9:30 softball game tonight that i'd rather not attend...but it's the last game of the season (FINALLY) so at least i have a break until next fall. if we win this one, we come in second, surprisingly.

enjoy the extra hour of your weekend.

now that's just plain stupid

Teenager escapes prison in suitcase
Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:55pm EDT

BERLIN (Reuters) - A 19-year-old German woman has escaped from prison by hiding in a friend's suitcase.

The fugitive hid inside the large case when her 17-year-old fellow inmate was released from the youth prison in northwest Germany on Friday, Lower Saxony ministry spokesman Dennis Weilmann said on Monday.

The girl simply walked out of the building with her friend concealed in her luggage, Weilmann said.

"Our staff are going to make sure they inspect big suitcases more carefully in the future," Weilmann said.

Neither of the teenagers has since been caught. Both had been jailed for theft. The escaped prisoner had less than two weeks left to serve.

-------

i was completely following up until the very last sentence. the girl didn't want to be in prison, she came up with great escape plan, it worked...but she was only there for two more weeks? come on...that's so ridiculous. it's like getting caught using a fake id the night before your 21st birthday. plain old stupid.

oh what people will do

what would make a grown man duct-tape high heels to his feet? has to be something good, right? say, i don't know, perhaps a free vacation? possibly. or some free money - but would have to be enough to make it worth while - $1,000? maybe. OR what about a pair of tickets to see hannah montana in concert? ABSOLUTELY.

yesterday, local radio station held a high heel derby for men only to compete for two tickets to see hannah montana tonight. clearly, it was well worth buying women's size 20 high heels, missing work, standing in the rain, and running in circles for the chance to see billy ray cyrus' daughter perform.

and even worse, people are paying up to $250 PER TICKET to see this kid in concert. she's outselling bruce springsteen for pete's sake.

i mean seriously, what is the world coming to?!?!?! first of all, little kids are going to concerts. secondly, parents are spending a small fortune to get them there. and lastly, the man who brought us achy breaky heart has procreated.

i can't take it any more than that.

it's finally here...

it seems as thought fall has finally come upon us, and in celebration of the cool weather, i will be spending the weekend eating soup, drinking hot cider and wearing hoodies.

really though, my third-to-last softball game is tonight, we shouldn't have a problem winning, and the mosquitos that were infesting the field the last few weeks should finally have gone underground for the winter. i must say, drinking cold beer during a cold game is less desirable than when it's warm out.

then tomorrow, some friends and i are taking a trip to the apple farm. it doesn't get much more autumnal than apple-picking.

(and of course, we will be watching football before the apples...duh)

so enjoy wearing your jeans and long-sleeve shirts, go rake some leaves or something. have a good one.

pheidippides

in the recent years, i have noticed a large number of people in my generation participating in marathons. seems that it's caught on like slap bracelets in 1993. and every time i read someone's time in their facebook info, or see their myspace pic of them running across the finish line, i can't help but think, "why in the world would you want to run that far?"

but there are quite a few marathons that exist, in fact, over 100 opportunities annually to run one in the us. my hometown is proud of their go! st. louis marathon in april. not sure why they have to have an exclamation point in their title. but apparently, we are a city of exclamation points. no really, we are.

anyways, with all of the marathons, and all of the people running them, i figured there must be something great about finishing one. you've accomplished something extremely difficult, you trained for months to prepare, you dedicated yourself, and you ran a distance that i don't even enjoy driving in my car.

but then i stumbled across the history of the marathon. named for a greek city, the story is that a soldier, pheidippides, ran from athens to marathon to declare that the persians had been defeated in battle. (there are variations of the story - don't ask me to cite my source). according to legend, this young man ran the whole way without stopping...and upon arrival and announcement of his message, he collapsed dead.

so i'm back at my original question, why would you want to run a distance that killed the first man who did it? (note: this is a rhetorical question. please don't post comments about how awesome it is. i will delete them.)

seriously though, to all of you who have attempted or finished a marathon, kudos. i guess.

tv-less life

after a weekend of no tv at the new house, we have stumbled upon the full series of sopranos on dvd to bide the time until saturday morning when directtv comes out to install our sweet dish and choicextra package. after investigating pricing of various cable/dish plans, i feel like i'm totally robbing directtv blind. i got free upgrade to dvr, $200 cash back, $50 referral bonus, AND a free portable dvd player. freaking awesome.

so anyways, back to the sopranos. i only had hbo for a short stint in college when it was a free add on for a few months, but even then, i don't think i ever watched sopranos. just never got into it. but it's a pretty good show, now that i'm starting at the beginning and get what the hell is going on. but i can't help but think of the things that tv shows on dvd do wrong.

#1 fit more episodes on a disc. i mean, four episodes is just not enough. i can't imagine that technology couldn't allow for at least 10 episodes on one disc.

#2 don't play the freaking theme song at the beginning of every episode. people are paying way too much for box sets to have to fast forward through (or listen to - if the remote is too far away or you fall asleep while watching) this for every single show you watch. how hard can it be to edit that out?

#3 don't make me read a synopsis of the episode before it plays. if i wasn't sure what i was watching, i could look at the dvd case.

and to sum up, i have clearly watched too much tv on dvd this weekend.