oh i miss college

and because i miss it so much, i have the bi-weekly student newspaper emailed to me so i can keep up on the goings-on of oxford, oh. there's not much...but they do always include the "police beat" - a list of the best i-can't-believe-how-drunk-that-kid-was stories of the week. this one is particularly enjoyable. you gotta be real out of it to not see a snowplow

Snowplow nearly strikes intoxicated first-year male

Miami University Police requested backup from Oxford police at 3 a.m. Saturday regarding an intoxicated male. Officers were told the male was walking down the middle of East Spring Street near Poplar Street when he was almost hit by an oncoming snowplow. He was identified as first-year Holden Crossland, 19. He reportedly smelled strongly of alcohol and was having difficulty standing. Crossland allegedly told officers he drank three or four rounds of alcohol that evening. He was cited with underage intoxication and transported back to Emerson Hall.