you'll love this...

i'm getting ready to leave work momentarily - but i just had to share this with someone. enjoy!

aaaaaaaaand it's friday.


i have been looking forward to this week for some time now...ever since my boss came to my desk and told her the magic words that make all employees do a happy dance in their cubie..."i'm going on vacation for a week." WAHOO! working when my boss isn't here is THE best. not only because she's an "interesting" person (to put it nicely) but because i can catch up on all of my internet surfing and facebook stalking.


but alas, it's friday and my week o' fun is coming to an end. i'm going out with a bang by taking an extra long lunch and going to the mall.


after last weekend's bachelorette party/shower/facials/erin extravaganza weekend - i'm looking forward to a weekend with only one event to attend (grad party) and lots of laying around and watching our new HD tv (how did we survive before HD?). and potentially playing my new wii game - karaoke revolution presents american idol - complements of my bud christy. best. wedding. shower. gift. ever. perhaps i'll take a picture of my rocking out with my mini-mike and share with you all.


speaking of bachelorette parties - i must confess that i was not keen on the idea of donning a cheap veil or tacky attire to attract attention to the fact that i was the bachelorette. but my family and friends had a much different take on the situation - decking me out complete with flashing-penis-veil (yes, it had a battery pack), miss america style sash, and "suck for a buck" t-shirt. i had a moment of wanting to refuse all of the flair, but quickly realized i'd get through it with the help of two bottles of wine and 5 gin & sodas. aaaaaand i did. enjoy this:


in case you were wondering - that last pic is not exactly a face that i regularly make. so i can only attribute it to the booze. which is fantastic. happy weekend everyone!

reasons why today is a good day

today may be just a regular old hump day to most people, but for me it is proving to be a very exciting day. first of all, the AI finale is on tonight - and i'm very anxious to see who wins. though i'm not looking forward to having to sit through two hours of ridiculous-ness, including fake boxing matches and puns that make me gag, just to see 5 seconds that make the show what it is.

secondly, the tomato & mozzarella salad is back at bread company. summertime is officially on its way. and i'll be eating this at least 3 times a week until they steal it away in september.

lastly, only two more days until all of my buddies visit me for a bachelorette party and shower weekend. oh how i enjoy looking forward to a weekend of shameless binge drinking with a monday off to finish. it's going to be awesome. and no rain in the forecast! wahoo.

so what

since i haven't been able to think of anything to write recently (unless you are interested in DIY wedding programs, bridal gown alterations or catering menu negotiations - which I can certainly speak to at this point) i thought i'd give you a little update on my life.

#1 i've switched my morning TV routine from saved by the bell to the today show. it was a sad day when i said goodbye to zack and kelly, but i was starting to notice that I lived in more of a bubble than usual. people would ask me, "did you hear about those mormons?" or "how about the latest with brittany spears?" and sadly, i could offer no response. so i'm getting my daily filling of junior-high-level news from matt and meredith now.

#2 only 50 days till i'm a mrs. i'm not panicking about saying the vows, but i'm starting to get a little nervous about getting everything done before the day rolls around. i've got about 2 actual free weekends between now and 6/28 with a plethora of bachelorette/showers/weddings to attend in between. then i take about two weeks off work for the event/honeymoon, attend one more wedding, and one more at-home-pseudo-reception-backyard-party...and then the show will be over. then i'll just be married. how boring.

#3 american idol is coming to an end, and i'm terribly sad about it. this season just hasn't given me the gratification that seasons past have done. some of my favorites left early, leaving a group of guys that are so-so (minus david cook, my facebook friend) and a girl that i'm not crazy about. and if dreadlocks didn't go soon, it was really going to get ugly. anyways - just a few more weeks and then i'm stuck watching 'so you think you can dance' to satisfy my reality tv appetite.

in other news - there is a sinkhole in texas that is eating up the state. things are falling in left and right, and it hasn't stopped yet. luckily, my trusty today show newscaster reported from within 100 feet from the edge, admitting that specialists recommended not going any closer than 1,000 feet. what a champ that guy is.

i'm heading back to the great state of ohio this weekend for my ex-roommate/bridesmaid's shower and bachelorette extravaganza. should be a weekend full of cosmopolitans, penis veils and shower games. can't wait!

best thing i've come across in a while

get ready for hours of entertainment...go to someecards.com. it's hilarious. you will undoubtedly make friends and enemies all because of this site.

one of my favorites:



other than that and american idol, i honestly have nothing interesting to offer...sorry about that folks. hey, at least the weather is getting nice - maybe it won't be snowing in may after all!

happy elimination day

oh i miss college

and because i miss it so much, i have the bi-weekly student newspaper emailed to me so i can keep up on the goings-on of oxford, oh. there's not much...but they do always include the "police beat" - a list of the best i-can't-believe-how-drunk-that-kid-was stories of the week. this one is particularly enjoyable. you gotta be real out of it to not see a snowplow

Snowplow nearly strikes intoxicated first-year male

Miami University Police requested backup from Oxford police at 3 a.m. Saturday regarding an intoxicated male. Officers were told the male was walking down the middle of East Spring Street near Poplar Street when he was almost hit by an oncoming snowplow. He was identified as first-year Holden Crossland, 19. He reportedly smelled strongly of alcohol and was having difficulty standing. Crossland allegedly told officers he drank three or four rounds of alcohol that evening. He was cited with underage intoxication and transported back to Emerson Hall.

the baby is here!

sorry to keep you all waiting for the news - but the baby is here! he wasn't a leapling, which is a shame. but nonetheless, he's a healthy baby, so all is good. george christopher:

i also found an interesting article for you to enjoy this fine monday morning...http://www.denverpost.com/headlines/ci_8371937. it's so bad, i don't even know where to begin. but the photo is PRICELESS. anyways enjoy.

lastly, i'd like to discuss our weather. if we don't get spring-for-good soon here, people are going to start getting nutty. we had a glimpse yesterday, and it was spectacular. but unfortunately, 2-6" of sleet and snow are expected tonight. awesome. the schools have already used up all their snow days - and some high school seniors are going to have to go to school after their graduation to make up for the time off. i would be SO pissed if that happened to me. anyways - hopefully this is the last of the wintery mix and we'll be off to sun and warmth in time for st. pat's day.

happy first monday of march everyone.

ps - i posted a poll over there -----> if you want to vote. i'll change it every week so stay tuned. unless no one posts responses, then i'm going to delete it so i don't look like a loser who writes a blog for 3 people.

happy leap day

on this festive of holidays, i was going to try to find lots of fun facts about leap years and leap days to share with you - but alas, leap day is not much more interesting than the facts you learned in 3rd grade. we get it every four years because a year is actually 356.245 days - and since it's not exactly 365.25 days, every 400 years skips the leap day.

it's also folklore that women can only propose marriage in leap years (as initiated by st. patrick). and some queen back in the day created legal fines for men who did not accept the proposals. and then the greeks believe that it is bad luck to marry in a leap year...good thing i'm irish/german.

so, the very fun part of this leap day is that my sister-in-law is in labor and might have her very own leapling! i'm hoping this baby comes before midnight tonight.

i also read that if you have an annual salary, you aren't actually paid for leap day...i'm not sure if that's true or not, but either way, i'm going to slack off a bit extra today at work just in case. i'm not working if they aren't paying.

hope you are having a happy leap day - if you live in stl, it looks like a spring-ish weekend is in store so enjoy it.

get up to speed stl

the world of tv is going digital, and my hometown is ill-prepared. apparently 19% of homes in st. louis are incapable of receiving digital signals, as compared to 10.9% across the us. are we seriously that backwoods here? don't worry, we're not dead last...just close to it.

this transition to digital, along with the introduction of hd, is the first time in my life that i've truly felt behind the times in technology. i find all of the tv lingo and specifications very confusing, and i'm not very interesting in learning them either. i now know what my grandparents felt like when people told them they had to have a computer at home. if i feel this way at 25, it's going to be a long road for me to figure out what the hell i'm doing.

in other news, the final 24 have been chosen for ai. man, is it going to be a great year. i have 14 weeks of singing and voting to look forward to. if that's not good news, i don't know what is.

a few things that i think you should know about

i have had the privilege of being exposed to a few new fun things this week - that I'd like to share with you. you can choose to like them or not, and i will continue to like them myself.

1. pandora.com

if you listen to music, and like music and hope to keep finding music to like that isn't the same 5 songs you have liked since you were 18 (this was kind of me before finding pandora) - you HAVE to get on pandora. basically you can enter in any song or singer that you like, and it will identify a never-ending playlist that resembles it. the "music genome project" basically assigns a DNA code to just about any song, and will find songs like it for you to listen. the best part? it's free.

2. gladys hardy

this was going to be a lot cooler - but i can't embed youtube today...perhaps i shouldn't be doing this from work. anyways - it's funny, so watch it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuT0Zf3kJX0

that's all for today, have to do some actual work now. i'll be preparing for my marriage, babysitting and doing laundry all weekend. man am i boring.

oh geez...

so my good friend kirby informed me that i'm a blog-slacker, and that i have ended a record-breaking monthly blogging streak for 15 months with my recent state of hiatus. what a shame...i was hoping to win some kind of record for this. damn.

well anyways - my life since last post has been filled with lots of business and craziness: working like a fool, planning my wedding, and watching american idol. all the important things in life.

speaking of american idol, i think the novelty of the "bad karoake on tv" has finally worn off. fox is trying to hang on, but they've even shifted the shows since the beginning of this season. they are showing more good people, less cheesy back stories...and i like it. actually, i'd be fine if they started the whole season with hollywood.

in other news - there's a presidential race going on. did you hear? well, if you haven't, i'll give you a quick recap. for the dems, black man v. white woman: the showdown. for the gop, old v. mormon: gauntlet. i think mccain is a standup guy - but MAN is he old. if he were to take office, he would be our oldest pres at 72. maybe he should just retire and play bocce instead.

and speaking of old presidents...i wondered if mccain would actually be the oldest president, and it's true (according to wikipedia at least). so i wondered, who is the oldest president now? that would be reagan. and the youngest? you're thinking jfk, right? WRONG. crazy, i know...but look it up. i'm not telling you - you'll have to do the research yourself. keep your mind active, you know.

so friends - this has been a quite terrible blog, but i have to call a few printers about wedding invitations, so i'm signing off. enjoy your mardi gras/superbowl weekend...if you were hit by the snowstorm of the century, make a snow angel. actually, build an igloo and watch the superbowl in it. that would be awesome.

see you next week.

ps. it's theodore roosevelt. i felt bad not telling you.

a look back on '07

here's a taste of what happened in my life and around the world this year, whether you care or not ;)

1. year o' moving: i moved out of my apartment and into the basement of my fine (and generous) friend karen...only to move out 6 months later and back in with my parents.

2. travelling wo-man: i spent much of my spring and early summer on planes, in cars, in hotel rooms, and staying with friends. a zeta reunion in oxford; trip to boston to see amy, the red sox, and a whole bunch of people who work for catalogs; virginia for some focus groups; indy for some boozing with my bestest friends...i always thought i would like to travel all the time, but now i'm not so sure...

3. VT: the event that shocked and dismayed the country, with a cold and tragic flashback to school shootings of the past.

4. ball and chain: on june 21, i got engaged to my future-hubby, 'hubby'. by this time next year, i'll be mrs. husband. then i'll be able to say, "this is my husband, matt husband" (my mom gets a real kick out of that)

5. weddingpalooza: attended some, participated in a few, and started planning my own. the statment "everyone is getting married" became the catchphrase of the year.

6. baby kate: shannon and abe had their first baby, a girl! she's freaking adorable and we love her. kathleen elizabeth.

7. kid #2: toph and sharon announced their pregnancy with their second child, in the same month that baby kate was born and i got engaged. we like to keep things interesting around here. then, at christmas, they told us it's a boy. yay!

8. home on the range: matt and i (mostly just matt...) bought a house! new to home-owning, this was a real experience that i'm not interested in participating in again soon. the house is awesome, and i can't wait to move in.

9. 90 years: my aunt ruthie turned 90. she lives in florida and travelled up to stl for a big party. i could only hope to be in her health at 90 -- she delivers meals on wheels to the "old people", as she calls them.

10. strike out: writers go on strike across the country. say goodbye to television shows that have scripts, and hello to a million reality series. luckily, american idol doesn't require the talent of writers to continue on.

happy 08 to all - hope it's a good one. see you next year.

follow up to the holiday party...

just wanted to let everyone know - the holiday party WAS as miserable as expected. people lined up to eat dollar roll sandwiches and brownies, we drank pepsi out of styrofoam cups...we even played musical chairs. well, i didn't play - but a representative of every part of the company played. the director of IT won, but the CEO came in a close second. no prizes for winners, just glory.

so after leaving work 45 minutes late, i ventured to my mom and dads in west county, only to realize that west county drivers are by far the worst drivers in the midwest. i hope they all quit their jobs when hwy 40 shuts down, so that i never have to deal with them again.

happy 6 days till christmas...

holiday par-tay

nothing says christmas/hanukkah/kwanzaa/atheist holiday of choice like the notorious company holiday party. my previous job - they certainly knew how to throw a party. in my first year, we had an all-inclusive 8-midnight party at a local restaurant/bar. employees were hammered, drinks were spilled, bosses were dancing on tables - it was spectacular.

so the next year, i think they realized that was a bit over the top, and out of budget, so we had an afternoon bowling party. the whole company left work at noon and hit the lanes. beers, buffet style food, bowling tournament, stale stench of cigarettes - what more could you ask for? it was a great time. (also, it was my last day of work at that company, so it was superb)

well, now that i'm with my new company for the first holiday party experience, i had high hopes of something super cool - like karaoke at chili's. i was greatly disappointed the day i received this email:

Hi!
You are invited to our Holiday Party! We will have
appetizers, desserts, soda and water.
We will also have a raffle to give away 3 Gift Baskets!
When: Tuesday, 12/18/07
Where: 2nd Floor of our building, in the open area outside of the
administration offices
Time: 4pm-6pm
*You do not need to RSVP
**You will be given your raffle tickets at the party
Thanks and hope to see you there!

so not only does this holiday party not involve drinks, it happens from 4pm - 6pm, when our business closes 5pm. Merry Christmas! Feel free to stay at work an hour late!

and to make it worse, the location ("the open area outside of the admin offices") is actually the open area right f-ing next to my desk. i couldn't even skip it if i wanted to. sons of bitches.

so in about an hour and a half, i'll be enjoying a tasty dessert accompanied by a bottle of water, all on the company's dime. grrrrrreat.

and if your holiday party doesn't suck as much as mine, i don't want to hear about it.

i hate the dentist and why i'm buying all xmas presents online

so today, i had to go to the dentist for a filling. my first filling since i was about 10, i was actually quite nervous. they assured me it was no problem and that i could return to work after the hour-long appointment. this was true - i did return to work, but they failed to mention to me that when i returned to work i would be talking like a goober that got punched in the mouth. not only that, the dentist went a little crazy with the lidocaine shot and i swallowed a mouthful. if you ever wondered, that WILL make you throw up.

so needless to say, this hasn't been the most fun monday. but the weekend on the other hand was a good time - i moved out of my basement dwelling on pembroke (tear) and in with my parents. this is the 5th time i've moved in three years - only to be moving again in june 08 after i am an old married woman.

and the decision to move home with my parents? it has it's ups and downs. the down is that they live in west b.f. about 30 minutes from everything. the up is that i will have homecooked dinner and packed lunches for the next 6 months. or if anyone is interested in a bonfire party, i've got the hookup.

so the other interesting event that happened this weekend occurred at the galleria, aka hell in december. i should know better than to step foot in a mall at this time of year, but i couldn't help myself, as i needed to use a discount card to victorias secret that i received in the mail before it expired (and i needed new underpants as well).

so i walk into vs, and am first off shocked by all of the very young girls in there picking out some extremely scandalous undergarments. some of these girls looked 12 - sick.

i pick out my 5 for $25 underwears, and one extra for the "free pair" that my card offers. i get in line to pay, and the cashier informs me that the "free pair" that i have picked out has to be a certain kind, which i did not know. there are people in line behind me, but i rush over to pick out a pair that will be free while they wait (i'm that girl).

as i rush back to the line with a pair of green and white polka dotted granny underpants, i realize that the people directly behind me in line are my co-workers (a guy and a girl - who before this i did not realize that they even knew each other). i casually say hello, as though a) they did not just have to wait for me to pick out underwear b) didn't just see the granny panties i picked out and c) aren't half as uncomfortable as i am at this moment.

i feel my face getting red, the cashier tells me how much my total is - then i can't find my credit card. the girl co-worker is telling me some story about her stepmom and i am not paying attention at all, like the flake that i have turned into, trying to find the stupid credit card. i manage to find it, pay, sign the receipt and pretend like i have something really important to go to and can't stay and chat.

i haven't been that embarrassed since i threw up on myself at six flags when i was 12. i rode mo-mo the monster three times in a row - what do you expect?